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Don’t tell me you love me

Don’t tell me you love me if you don’t
Let me make it clear from this point
You may think you do because of the rush you feel
But don’t derive your conclusions from my initial appeal
I may not be what you have drawn in your head as the ultimate ideal

Don’t compliment my skin like it’s a prize
A prize I won in a competition or the like
I was born this way and I love it
But don’t make it seem like I earned it
Like ordinarily, I shouldn’t still have it
Maybe you don’t understand my obsession. But let it not be your only obsession

Don’t tell me you love my natural hair
And how I carry it with pride
Such sweet words you ring in my ears
May later turn out to be deceit
To get me mellow and conceding
And get your true colors revealed

Don’t tell me you love me if you can’t love my scars
My brokenness
And all the cracks
The cracks my walls carry
The walls I built high to prevent your kind from coming in
So when I let you through
When I break my rules
Don’t give me reason to go back to why I built them up
To begin with…

Don’t tell me you love my crazy when it’s all manic and hyped
For after that, my crazy might be depressive and less wired
Or it might be a mix of both
As sometimes I can’t decide
I may lose who I am for a minute
Or more
What do you do then, if you don’t truly mean the love?

Don’t tell me you care if you won’t be there
When no one else is, when nothing seems clear
Don’t tell me you love that I’m one of a kind
For I am, one of a kind
And sometimes it’s not pretty
Sometimes I don’t feel pretty
I wake up looking messy
I want to remain like that all day, so let me be

Would you still love me when my skin is all cracked up?
Or when my hair doesn’t stay put and it’s all dried up?
Would you still love me when you see inside me
And it’s not all peaches and roses?
Would you hold on or say I am too much to handle?
Would you be patient with all my troubles?

If you can be honest to reply in the negative,
Then don’t tell me you love me.

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